Is It Wrong to Tell Children About Santa Claus?

Source: Photocreo Bednarek/Adobe Stock

As discussions about childhood development and mental health grow, some parents may wonder, especially around the holidays: Is it wrong to tell my children stories about fairytales, such as Santa Claus? Santa Claus is a cherished part of the holiday festivities for some families. He can become more than just a figure in a red suit for children; he represents the holiday season’s magic, wonder, and joy. Belief in Santa Claus as a holiday tradition can play a meaningful role in childhood development by fostering a child’s imagination and emotional growth while disguised in fantasy.

Why Fairytales Matter

A friend asked me if they should tell their children the truth about Santa Claus and other fairytales, such as the tooth fairy. Ultimately, the decision to reveal the truth about children’s stories is a personal choice. For some, these stories are a beloved way to celebrate; for others, they may not align with their approach to parenting or holidays. Cultural or personal values may conflict with the idea of telling fictional stories. Parents may worry about creating false expectations or promoting materialism. It’s important to strike a balance between nurturing imagination and teaching real-world values like gratitude and empathy.

Since imaginative play is critical to child development, fairytales can help teach kids empathy, resilience, and problem-solving while bringing them joy, wonder, and creativity. Fairytales ignite excitement and inspire children to use their imaginations. My answer to my friend was, “Why stop the fantasy?” Children are not little forever and fairytales can assist them with appreciating the real world. For instance, focusing on the importance of the spirit of giving and kindness in Santa Claus. This shifts attention from fantastical elements to applicable life lessons and frames it positively for children.

Children do grow up and start questioning the reality of these tales around ages five to seven Some argue that allowing children to believe in fantasies may harm trust once they learn the truth. However, research suggests that most children handle the transition from belief to understanding with curiosity rather than distress. A study by Anderson and Prentice (1994) in which a group of children were interviewed about how they found out the truth about Santa, as well as how they felt upon that discovery. A large number of children reported happiness and relief with negative emotions being minimal.

Strategies for Helping Children Distinguish Fantasy from Reality

If you are concerned about this transition, approach the topic as a teachable moment. Use it as an opportunity to explain what Santa represents to your family (i.e. shift the focus from gifts to meaningful experiences). Make your rationale positive to assist your children with embracing the idea rather than feeling misled.

• Acknowledge the Power of Imagination. Encourage children to enjoy the magic of fairytales while recognizing that they are stories. Reinforce that it’s okay to imagine and pretend, as these skills foster creativity and problem-solving.
• Gently Introduce Critical Thinking. As children mature, invite them to explore the logic behind the stories. For example, ask questions like, “How do you think Santa flies with reindeer? Do sleighs fly in real life?” These discussions help them think critically without diminishing their enjoyment of the story.
• Encourage Open Conversations. When children express doubts or questions about fairytales, listen and validate their curiosity. Acknowledge their observations and provide simple explanations to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality.
• Balance Fairytales with Reality-Based Stories. Introduce children to books and stories grounded in real-life events or characters. Balancing fantasy with reality helps create a fuller understanding of the world while still celebrating imagination.
• Role-Play and Exploration. Engage in role-playing games where children can act out parts of their favorite fairytales. During these activities, weave in real-life elements to gently guide them toward recognizing the difference between fantasy and reality.
• Use Age-Appropriate Language. Tailor explanations to the child’s developmental stage. Younger children may need simpler terms, while older children can handle more nuanced conversations about the nature of storytelling and symbolism.

Do Fairytales Impact Children’s Mental Health?

Fairytales are more than just entertaining stories—they play a vital role in a child’s emotional, social, and psychological development. These narratives, often filled with moral lessons and magical elements, have a profound impact on children’s mental health by nurturing creativity, emotional resilience, and social understanding. Distinguishing between fantasy and reality sharpens critical thinking and reasoning skills. Children will begin to understand that not all stories are real, which fosters emotional resilience and adaptability.

From a mental health perspective, the impact of fairytales like Santa Claus largely depends on how they are framed and how the family supports the child’s emotional understanding. When presented as part of a joyful tradition, these stories can enhance family connection, provide comfort, and give children a sense of wonder. If children feel pressured to behave “perfectly” to earn gifts or if the story becomes overly focused on materialism, it could create unnecessary stress or self-esteem issues. Being sensitive and supportive when children begin questioning the story ensures the experience remains positive. Open communication and affirming their feelings are key. Therapists and educators often use fairytales as tools in child development and therapy. Through storytelling, children can project their fears, hopes, and conflicts onto characters, providing a safe way to explore and express their emotions.

Conclusion

The most important factor is ensuring that children feel loved, supported, and included in family traditions, whether or not they involve Santa or another fairytale. Telling children Christmas stories like Santa Claus or about other fairytales is not inherently right or wrong. These tales, when shared thoughtfully, can contribute positively to a child’s development and experiences. Balancing imagination with real-world values and ensuring open communication can help parents navigate these traditions in a way that fosters trust and connection. This holiday season, whether you celebrate with stories of Santa or focus on other traditions, remember that the joy of the season lies in creating meaningful moments and lasting memories with your family. The focus on family togetherness, generosity, and joy can make stories meaningful for everyone, regardless of how they are told.